If I Were Taking My First Solo Trip Again, This Is What I'd Do
Recently, I received a message from a reader in her mid-twenties who was thinking about taking her first solo trip. She wanted adventure, freedom, new experiences, and to meet people, but she was also nervous about being alone and staying safe.
Reading her message took me straight back to being 23 and booking my first solo trip to the South of France.
I was anxious and my mind kept going round and round in circles thinking of all the possibilities and worst case scenarios.
What if something bad happens? Will I be lonely?
The nerves, the excitement, the fear…. It was all rolled into one.
Looking back, that first trip changed the trajectory of life in my 20s. I met a woman called Kim who I became friends with. After joking around one afternoon in the dining hall of the language school I attended about moving to Paris, one year later, I actually did move to Paris. So did she.
So to the woman who messaged me, I understand what you’re feeling.
Here are some of the things I would think about, if I were my younger self again attempting my first solo trip.
I'd start with an activity, not a destination
My first question would be, what do you have an urge to do?
Is it to see places? Is it to go to the mountains? Is it to learn a new language or skill?
Start from there.
I rarely pick a country because I want to go to that country.
Instead, I travel because I want to do something.🙃
I want to hike.
I want to learn a language.
I want to do yoga.
I want to experience a culture.
I want to eat a particular cuisine.
I need a mental reset.
That's how I ended up at a yoga retreat in Thailand, hiking in South America, volunteering in Malawi and Zambia, learning French and repeatedly returning to Italy because… I love to eat!
Nowadays, I tend to do more hiking trips and island trips. But I still like to venture out once and a while and try something new.
I'd choose shoulder season
One thing I've realised over the years is that I actually enjoy travelling in shoulder season more than peak season.
The weather is sometimes more unpredictable, but I've found that the trade-off is usually worth it. There are fewer people around, accommodation can be cheaper, and I find I enjoy places more when they're a little quieter.
For hiking, I'd much rather hike in May or June than struggle through the heat of July and August in Europe. Ideally, the summer crowds haven’t arrived yet and the winter frost has cleared.
It's not always perfect. But it doesn’t have to be. I recently spent a rainy day in Bovec and still had a great time hiking to Slap Virje.
Saying that, if weather is really important to you and you don’t mind more crowds, go for peak season 🙂 Do what works for you. And if you don’t know, try one or the other and figure it out along the way.
I'd stay somewhere where I wasn't completely alone
One of the biggest misconceptions about solo travel is that you have to do everything alone.
If I were taking my first solo trip again, I'd choose somewhere where I had opportunities to meet people naturally.
In my twenties, that often meant staying in hostels, and as a preference female dorms. I really enjoyed sitting around chatting with other women about where they'd been and where they were going next.
I remember staying in a dorm in Labuan Bajo before visiting the Komodo Islands. It felt less like a hostel and more like a giant sleepover. We spent the evenings sharing stories, laughing about our travels and swapping advice.
Hostels aren't for everyone, and these days I prefer apartments and private rooms. I like coming back to somewhere that feels like home after a long day. But at the time, hostels gave me exactly what I needed: a way to be independent without feeling completely alone.
And, sometimes the people looking out for you aren't even other travellers.
When I stayed in Santiago there were some unexpected riots. I was staying with a couple in their apartment. As tear gas drifted through the city and my eyes started watering on the bus ride home, they messaged me to check I was ok and safely on my way back.
Looking back, I don't think solo travel was ever really about being completely alone.
It was about learning that even when you're travelling by yourself, there’s always a way to connect, even for a moment. And when you share a common joy of something, it becomes easier to do.
I'd accept that I'd still be anxious
One of the things I thought would disappear over the years was the anxiety.
It didn't.
I still get nervous before trips. I still overthink. I still wonder whether I'm making the right decision or if I've forgotten something important.
The difference now is that I know the feeling passes.
In fact, I've come to realise that being a little nervous is probably a good thing. Some of it’s anxiety, but some of it’s also excitement. It's the feeling of stepping into the unknown and knowing that, in a few days' time, you'll be somewhere completely different, having experiences you can't yet imagine.
If I waited until I felt completely ready, I don't think I would have gone anywhere.
I'd say yes to the thing that scares me a little
This shouldn’t put you in danger. I'm talking about the things that stretch your comfort zone just a little.
I wasn't always a hiker.🙃
In fact, hiking only became a huge part of my travels because of a conversation I had in a hostel dorm in Cusco. An Australian woman I'd met suggested I join her on the Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu. She also thought it would be fun if we were tent buddies.
I naively said yes.
She probably has no idea, but that trek completely changed the way I travel.
As we drove to the start, someone casually mentioned that we'd be hiking 77 kilometres. I had absolutely no concept of what 77 kilometres at altitude actually meant, and if I'm honest, I wasn't particularly well prepared.
It was one of the hardest things I'd done at the time.
But I still remember the feeling of finishing it.
Now, whenever I travel, I almost always look for a hike. I research them properly, make sure I have the right gear and shoes, and try not to underestimate mountain distances quite as much.
Looking back, saying yes to that trek changed far more. It changed my physiology and my mental health.
Safety on solo travel
There’s a lot that goes into keeping yourself safe on your travels including researching destination, asking your hotel reception about good and bad areas, not looking too flashy, letting people know where you are, not going anywhere at night that you’re not comfortable with during the day and being aware of your surroundings. The list goes on…
But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt is that part of keeping yourself safe is knowing yourself and learning how others perceive you.
This isn't something I instinctively knew when I started travelling. It's something I built over time.
As my confidence has grown, I've become more aware of how I'm perceived by others. I'm also aware that I'm a 5'2" woman travelling alone, and that can be interpreted differently depending on where I am in the world. Most of the time it's simply curiosity. But over the years, I've learned to pay attention to where people's eyes go.
This is something I learned on a volunteering trip to Malawi.
I needed to buy a small day bag from a local market, and one of the other volunteers, who was from Zimbabwe, told me he didn't think I should go alone. He offered to come with me.
As we walked through the market, he pointed something out that has stayed with me ever since.
He said:
"Faria, watch where people's eyes go."
Not their faces. Not what they're saying. Their eyes.
As we walked, I saw numerous people eye up my bag. My wallet. They knew I was a tourist.
Years later, I was in La Paz and wanted to walk to a viewpoint overlooking the city. As I walked up the main road by myself, I noticed a lot of eyes on me. Nothing happened. Nobody approached me. But something didn't feel right.
So I turned around and went back to the Mi Teleférico.
If you’re somewhere that doesn’t feel right. Let it go. Move on.
The truth about taking your first solo trip
The truth is, I don't think there's a perfect first solo trip.
There is only the first trip.
You don't need to travel for six months. You don't need to quit your job. You don't need to climb a mountain in Peru.
You can take a weekend away. A yoga retreat. A language course. A cheap €1 bus through the French Riviera.
Your first trip doesn’t have to be somewhere that massively stretches your boundaries. I’d even recommend going somewhere relatively familiar where you could get home easily if you wanted to come back. It’s more about building confidence in yourself than anything.
I picked the South of France which was roughly a 2 hour flight away. And I think a lot of European countries are a good starting point as they have a decent amount of infrastructure and feel relatively safe. South-East Asia is also another great option and you’ll definitely meet alot of travellers there.
I won’t suggest a specific country, because I think that’s a personal choice based on your needs, location, budget and desires.
Start easy and build from there. And if you decide solo travel is not for you. Great. You do you. You just need to figure out what that looks like.
Because sometimes all it takes is one trip to change the trajectory of your life in ways you couldn't possibly imagine at the time.
It’s your story. It’s your journey.
Let your life unfold.
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